The Matrix Revelations Parts 1 to 3
by Neo11
Summary: This may be the only Matrix parody EVER to be handwritten by an author suffering from a sprained wrist! Any chapters may not be in chronological order, but trust me, it'll make sense if you know the basic story.
1. Default Chapter

The Matrix Part One  
  
C=Cipher  
  
T=Trinity  
  
A=Random Agent  
  
AS=Agent Smith  
  
The camera pans up to reveal a woman talking on the phone. Her name is Trinity.  
  
T: Cipher, I'm gonna have to keep trailing him. I can't stop now.  
  
C: Trinity, it's been a week. Stop stalking the poor guy.  
  
T: I am not stalking him. I'm monitoring him for Morpheus. Strictly business.  
  
C: Come on. You like watching him. You can't stop.  
  
T: No, it's not that. He hasn't showered or changed for a week. He HAS to crack someday soon!  
  
C: Ah, so that's it. Got the hots for old Neo, have you?  
  
T: Nooooooo...Well, yeah. And anyway, Switch promised me fifty quid for copies of any photographs I take of him doing these things.  
  
There is a clunk on the line  
  
T: Are you sure this line is secure?  
  
C: Yeah.  
  
There is a loud and very obvious cough  
  
T: Did you hear that? There's someone listening.  
  
C: No there isn't. You're just paranoid.  
  
He turns and gestures to the thousands of Zion citizens crowded behind him.  
  
C: Keep it down! She can HEAR you!  
  
T: I'd better go.  
  
She unplugs the phone and pulls herself into the air vent. She is almost in when several policemen burst into the room. One grabs her foot but she jerks away and he is left holding her stiletto-heeled boot.  
  
T: Damn! That was my favourite Jimmy Choo!  
  
She kicks the policeman in retribution and crawls away. When she reaches the outside vent, she pops off the cover and jumps out onto the top of a phone box. She hops off and grabs the phone, only to see a juggernaut speeding towards her.  
  
T: Oh shit!  
  
She vapourises as the truck crashes into the booth. Two agents hop out.  
  
A: Damn, she did it again. We really should upgrade those trucks, Agent Smith. Bad luck.  
  
AS: You win some, you lose some.  
  
The Matrix Part 2: The Oracle's Flat  
  
M=Morpheus  
  
N=Neo  
  
O=Oracle  
  
B=Boy with spoon  
  
The camera shows a dingy hallway. Morpheus and Neo stand outside.  
  
M: Well, we're here. Neo, you go in while I wait here.  
  
N: Oh, I don't wanna go.  
  
M: Get in there boy!  
  
N: Yes sir.  
  
He enters. The oracle is putting cookies in a jar. Several children are practising mind games.  
  
O: Hello Neo.  
  
N: Hey. Can I-  
  
O: Stop. You may only ask one thing. Look inside yourself to the deepest desire for knowledge you have, then ask the question that goes with it.  
  
He considers it  
  
N: Can I have a cookie please?  
  
O: I hate giving bad news to good people. By the way, don't worry about the vase.  
  
N: What? But...can I have a cookie.  
  
O: No, you cannot.  
  
N: What!  
  
He seizes the vase and throws it against the wall, breaking it.  
  
O: Wow, you really are an asshole. I can't imagine what she sees in you.  
  
N; Who?  
  
O: What's really going to mess you up later is....would you still have broken the vase if I hadn't mentioned it?  
  
N: Yes.  
  
O: Oh.  
  
N: But WHO LIKES ME?  
  
O: Oh, someone you know. No one important.  
  
N: Michelle?  
  
O: No.  
  
N: Cassie?  
  
O: No.  
  
N: Lizzie?  
  
O: No!  
  
N: Allie?  
  
O: No!  
  
N: Lesley?  
  
O: No!  
  
N: Hannah?  
  
O: Alright! It's Trinity! Now shut up!  
  
N: Trinity? Oh, man.  
  
O: You bastard. I need a moment to calm myself.  
  
She goes into the kitchen where she does deep breathing exercises. Neo turns to the kids, facing the boy bending spoons.  
  
N: How the hell are you doing that?  
  
B: There is no spoon.  
  
N: Of course there bloody is, you bending it.  
  
B: There is no spoon to bend. It is impossible to bend the spoon.  
  
Neo seizes the spoon and starts beating the boy about the head with it.  
  
O: Neo! Stop beating up Xavier! Stop it!  
  
N: See! The spoon does bloody bend!  
  
Neo drops the spoon and drop-kicks the Oracle's cat into the next room.  
  
O: Get out! By the way, you piece of crap, you're the one. Now get your arrogant ass outta here!  
  
She throws a cookie after him as he leaves. He picks it up and is munching on it as he approaches Morpheus.  
  
M: So, what did she say?  
  
N: Trinity fancies me  
  
M: And...  
  
N: I got a cookie.  
  
M: And...  
  
N: Oh, and I'm apparently the One.  
  
M: What?  
  
N: Yeah. I thought it was cool too.  
  
Fade out. 


	2. Author Callout

Calling all fans! I've written another instalment to 'The Nightclub' and it is posted under the name 'Bellini Girl'-I just felt like a change of image. It's called 'The Nightclub Revisited:10 years later' and look out for any new prequels to this, coming soon! I've also written 'The Big Blue Bejewelled Bottle Of Cursed Rum'-a Pirates Of The Caribbean story- and 'A Tale Of Chin Wombats and Men In Tights'- a Ned Kelly story-under this new penname. Please r+r! 


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